Abuse in Christian relationships is so real people.
It is more common than you think. Over 40% of Christians have experienced abuse with over 56% of the perpetrators being Christian themselves.
The only problem is that we do not bring this issue to the surface as much as we should. We love to assume that just because someone goes to church, leads worship or leads a connect group that that person may never be capable of abuse.
We forget about the potential “wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing” and can become too naive to the reality of life itself.
The sad part about it is that vulnerable people are not even aware of the level of abuse they are being exposed to. Be it physical, sexual, verbal, financial or emotional, people are blinded to it. Blinded to the severity. And even if they are aware of it, some are afraid to leave these destructive relationships due to the expectations of Christian relationships.
People are afraid !
- AFRAID of being alone
- AFRAID of the stigma of divorce
- AFRAID of the stigma of single parenthood
- AFRAID of the stigma of being single
- AFRAID of what leaving may look like
- AFRAID of what others might think
Well let me be the first to say STUFF IT!! Your mental health and wellbeing is way MORE important than any stigma or label and the mental health of your children is worth more than staying in any abusive relationship.
What you need to understand is that staying in any form of abusive relationship causes you to lose self confidence and your self worth is more likely to end up rock bottom.
You also start to forget who you are and you begin to diminish your own light, life and purpose. An abusive relationship DOES NOT bring the best out of you.
So if you are finding yourself diminishing or having to change due to the requirements or your partner then maybe it is time to stop and reflect seriously on your relationship !
Please don’t hide behind the “He or She is a CHRISTIAN label” NO! Let’s call it what it is! If your partner is :
- hitting you
- punching you
- calling you stupid
- manipulating you
- bringing you down
- keeping you away from your family
- stalking you
- calling you 60 times a day
- forcing you to perform sexual acts
- threatening you
- harrassing you
NEWSFLASH! THIS IS ALL ABUSE! Regardless of his/hers position in church.
So what should you do if you find yourself in an abusive relationship:
1) SPEAK OUT
If today you are finding yourself in an abusive relationship, please speak out and seek urgent counsel from a trusted friend or leader in church.
2) LET THE POLICE KNOW
Contact your local police station for help in leaving a severely abusive relationship. There is help out there for you.
3) CLAIRE’S LAW
If you live in the UK seek a Claire’s Law immediately. Claire’s Law is a law that allows anyone to go to their local police station and ask the police if their partner has any violent history or history of abuse. The police will give you a detailed breakdown of any previous offences your partner may have committed. This law is designed to save your life by staying away from abusive partners whom may otherwise present themselves as charming and wonderful at first.
So to conclude I just want to say,
“You are not responsible for how they treat you BUT you are responsible for how you to respond to it!”
You are stronger than you think you are!